ANOTHER KIND OF DIAMOND Read online

  I Know! She is wired. Her mom is home all the time trying to help out but she never gives a damn Isabel pressed on.

  That’s true. If I had that kinda dad with lots of dough and a mom like hers I’ll probably be in school still.

  Oh my God, the bus is almost here! Look behind you! Isabel shouted!

  Baby, you’ve got one of a kind pair of eyes! We need to run for it this time or we miss it! Carissa said.

  I warned you we needed to step up but you wouldn’t listen, now you want me to start running and I don’t know how fast we gonna run to catch up with a moving bus. Look the fool you made of yourself Carissa!

  Isabel we can give it a try! So keep running!

  I’m doing what I can, okay? Don’t even try making me go any faster than I’m doing already, alright? Oh no! Is no use! It is already on its stand and there is no way we can catch up with it now, so I quit, Isabel said and slowed down.

  Babe, don’t do that! Carissa persisted. We can still make it! Keep running! We are almost there! See, I almost touched the big thing. Yeah!

  But those who have the mind to know the right time to leave their homes and get to the bus stop on time already got in and the bus full, ok? Babe look at the damn thing with your blind eyes and you’ll see it’s slowly moving away. It is not gonna stay there waiting for Carissa ‘cause that’s what you call public transportation, okay? It is leaving!

  Yeah! You’re damned right. We missed it alright. Let’s wait for another one, okay?

  Is gonna take about an hour before the next bus gets here Carissa!

  We got no choice babe? It’s either we choose to wait or we take another long walk back home. Anyways, it is up to you Isabel, ‘cause I’m not going to the store to shop for my own stuff and you know that. The only reason I’m out here right now is ‘cause of you, don’t you forget that, Carissa said.

  And how are you helping me out now, ah? Isabel responded.

  We ain’t got to the store yet! Carissa continued.

  And you already sat down without even thinking how I’m feeling about this whole shit! Anyways, since is gonna take a while before the bus gets here, I wanna take out my ear piece and listen to some tunes, okay? So go ahead and pretend I don’t exist. Still searching for the piece, Isabel heard Carissa shout out, I kinda sat on something!

  I know you won’t let me alone, Isabel bellowed. What is it you sat on that is so bad you can’t bear?

  I don’t know. May be a kinda book or something, Carissa said and took out whatever it is and began flipping through some pages of a magazine until she got to a particular spot and tried reading out some names. D.r Jos…Jos…lyn Je…far..son. An..to..ny Mar..great Will..son………

  Give me that, Isabel said snatching the so called book off Carissa’s hand. This is no book roommate. It’s what you call a Magazine, understand? How come you can’t even read a damn thing? What’s wrong with you Carissa, are you dumb or something?

  You don’t have to scream at me, okay? Carissa who hardly gets mad with her roommate reacted this time with a slight hint of self-defense.

  Let me see! Oh! Dr. Joslyn Jefferson, Attorney Margret Wilson. What’s this shit talking about anyways? Isabel said and looked up the caption. Oh! “One Hundred Great American Women Achievers” Good! Sounds kind of cute!

  What’s that?

  Something about some babes that did something they wanna talk about in a magazine.

  Something like what?

  Here you start asking dumb ass questions again Carissa. Anyways, they kind of became Doctors, Attorneys, Music babes and stuffs like that. They did some good.

  How do they do all that? I mean get to do all those kind of shit and stuff, Carissa asked.

  They stay in school and study so hard. That’s how they do it, dumb fool!

  That must be kinda miserable life, ha? You know what I think? Isabel you are one of them ‘cause you are so smart! See how you do every damn thing better than I do! Tell me something! Did you get to finish high school or something?

  I don’t wanna talk about it! Isabel retorted.

  How come you never say a thing about yourself, eh? Ok, if you must know I dropped out, what about you? Carissa continued.

  Didn’t you hear me say I don’t wanna talk about it damned fool?

  It doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter, Carissa added. But tell me some, how do people get to stay in school and all that, study hard and get to be called some kind of quire sounding names and stuff? I mean they gonna miss out in all the fun we’ll be getting. I don’t get it! And what are they gonna do with all that funny sounding names. I can’t do myself like that! Damn! Now listen to this! There is this old Aunt of mine who lives in New Port Beach.

  Oh yeah!

  Yeah! Nice place, big house, cozy furniture, clean neighborhood, green fields. And babe when I say green grass? I mean green! That mama sure lives the life!

  For real!!

  Yeah! She is a retired what they call RN, Carissa continued. She said it’s short for a Registered Nurse and she always told me how hard she worked in her time to earn all she got. And from all I heard her say, she worked so hard that sometimes I wept for her. A whole lot of shit that Mama used to feed into my fucking brain anyways! It was always, Child this or Child that and she would go on and on. Sometimes when she gets into one of those happy moments she gets into for no reason, she will be like, “child! Life is like a package handed to you right from your mama’s womb but it begins to unwrap the moment you are born. It is a secret package though, so you never know what is inside but then it opens in very tiny, tiny bits as you go along. But the thing is that each of the tiny bits that open right before your eyes is a whole lot of jigsaw puzzle that you got to figure out. Child, that’s what life is all about, solving puzzles. And you got to be real smart, you got to be wise and need lots of sense to do that! That means watch, listen, and discipline yourself to search and learn”. Yeah! She said that shit to me every time and I guess that was to make Carissa work her butt off but I wasn’t even thinking about anything like that.

  Hum! Interesting Isabel reacted!

  And there is this other little something she talked about every damned day. I don’t even remember a day that went by without her saying this same shit to me. “Child, always remember this, I don’t want you to wind up like your mama” she will say and I’ll go never! And she’ll be like, “remember how she abandoned you and ran off with that low down, God forsaken, good for nothing, miserable, damned old boy friend of hers to Maryland and your grand ma had to work her ass to raise you? Thanks to that good man the good Lord gave to mother that saw her through those difficult days. My dad was a good man and I loved them both very much. Oh yes! I did! May the good Lord continue to bless their souls in their resting places? Give me Old- School anytime, oh yeah! And then, I heard that mother fucking bastard of a man latter abandoned your mom and walked away, just like that? I always want you to remember all that. Child I want you to go back to school, stay there until you graduate. I’ll see to it that you get all the help you need if you decide to do the right thing so don’t worry about the fees ‘cause I’ll take care of that from start to finish. Then after that you settle down and decide what you wanna do”. I guess that was another of her style of trying to get me does what she wants. She always tells me about this thing she calls CNA.

  That’s no big deal! I know what that means. It is the short for a Certified Nursing Assistant, Isabel said.

  Yeah! Who thought you that? Babe you are one hell of a smart cookie! So you know that too? You understand every damn thing in this world Isabel. Anyways, my Aunt used to talk to me a lot about that stuff. And the way she talked about it was like I could just go in and grab it if I wanted.

  You think that’s so easy. I sometimes think about going back to school though but I just don’t think sitting in a class room all
day long is cool, Isabel continued.

  And what are you gonna read if it happens?

  I don’t know!

  Anyways that CNA stuff like you said may be hard but lots of babes still do it, right? Carissa continued.

  For sure! It always comes in handy as a start, get what I’m saying? Then you work your way up from there. You know the lady next door?

  Which one?

  Don’t you remember anything Carissa? There is only one Lady in the apartment next door.

  Oh! Oh! You mean “here she goes again!” Carissa said, giggling gain.

  Is that what you call her?

  Isabel what else do you want me call her, eh? I mean, she is always on the go! Always! She is on that damned nursing uniform of hers twenty-four-seven. I tell you something girlfriend, l have never seen her in any other damned fucking cloth ‘cause she works every minute of her life. I think she also goes to school or something ‘cause I see some kind of a name of one of those nasty colleges scribed on some of those damned old fashioned Nursing Uniform she flags all over the places. Does she have time for any other stuff in her life? Like when does she eat, sleep, poo or even get some loving, get what I’m saying. She is a workaholic and I can’t just do myself like that. Damn!

  Girl! Quit running your mouth like hell, okay? Isabel continued. To get some you need to do some, alright? I see she shop a lot and I heard she is moving to her own house at the end of this month ‘cause she bought her own home. Oh yeah babe, she bought her own home and she can’t do that if she can’t pay that little thing called mortgage, okay? That’s how it works babe?

  That’s not right though. How can she pay for all that on a CNA check?

  She works every minute of the day, remember? I tell you again, to get some, babe you got to do some!

  Isabel I don’t understand you sometimes. I don’t even think I’ll ever understand you. Are you taking sides with the lady next door or what? You don’t even know her that much, so what’s your problem, eh?

  Stop! Don’t even go there Carissa? I’m trying to help you here, okay? You never seem to get anything right and I’m sick and tired of that shit! Isabel said, visibly angry now.

  You’re right. I’m a dumb asshole! Carissa said in a low tune. I already know that so you don’t have to keep reminding me, okay? What time is it anyways?

  By Isabel’s estimate it would take another ten minutes before the bus comes around but she went in search of it with her eyes anyways. Surprisingly she found it approaching the last light before the Bus Stop where the girls waited so the announcement. She hardly finished her statement before the bus came to a halt right in front of them and they got in. It was almost full such that both were forced to sit in separate seats.

  The rest of the journey was made more with their eyes than with their mouth. Carissa couldn’t take her eyes off a baby Mama with her two kids sitting in front of her. She continued observing, recording and enjoying every single move that mama was making on that bus as the journey continued.

  As for Isabel she kept herself busy with the Magazine they found. She tried to look at each of the pictures of the one Hundred women achievers but one particular case was really outstanding, so outstanding that she gazed at it until their final stop on Crenshaw and Century.

  Carissa! Carissa! She called out twice at the girl who lost herself to the admiration of the baby mamas. Carissa, are you deaf? She moved close enough to give her a little nudge on her back.

  Startled, Carissa exclaimed, what’s up girlfriend?

  This is our stop. Did you forget or something?

  Oh! Yeah! You’re right Carissa said and sprang on her feet and both had to literally rush out of the bus that was almost carrying them along its journey.

  Do we need the 111? Carissa asked the moment they got out.

  I don’t think so. That’s Ross right there. It isn’t that far.

  You’re right smart girl. Ross is a little stroll ahead.

  Good! At list you noticed! Isabel said scornfully.

  Stop talking to me like that Isabel. I may be dumb but I see whatever I wanna see. The damn bus was jam parked with lots of baby mamas. Yes! I noticed. You didn’t miss that, did you?

  How could I?

  Good! There was this one sitting right in front of me and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Carissa continued. You saw her with her two little cuties, right? I kinda liked the way she talked to her girl in a command sort of. Some-n like, sit down right there! And the girl sat down right away. That’s what I’m talking about girlfriend! It is the thing that gives me the kick about this baby mom some-n. Babe, it kinda gives what is called respect and I want that. Yeah, I kinda want respect! And then I won’t even have to do nothing for myself no more, get what I’m saying? New: No boring damned job. No way! I’ll be picking up government check straight from the bank! Yeah! That’s all I’ll be doing girlfriend! And then, ‘I’m gonna’ do the TV and movies all the time. And the beauty pallor never gonna miss me ‘cause they’ll see me each day the sun light shines in the sky. And after I get myself done real good I go hang out with some guys. And you know what? I’m never gonna miss any damn party stuff ‘cause wherever it’s happening, folks gonna see me there live, shining like the stars. And then I’ll hit the club anytime I wanna buggy down. I’m gonna do hard liquor and the damned weed all day long. Baby that’s what you call sweet life! And then when the baby is growing in your stomach you kind of look like this, and carry yourself like that, she demonstrated. Baby, what won’t I give for that pose? I long for it real bad!

  And when the baby is born, better get you some ear pads and lots of coffee ‘cause in place of your fancy pose all you’ll be getting will be shrills in baby cries and serious nods from sleep. And know what? You’ll barely have enough time to go shopping for your coffee and baby stuff pushing your baby all over the places in her pram talk more of night clubs. Besides government money is never gonna get you anywhere, okay? ‘Cause you stay put on same sport all your life. I tell you what I think? The baby mamas I saw in that damned bus need someone to tell them they got it all wrong! Bullshit! Isabel added.

  What do you mean and how dare you say that Isabel? They don’t need nothing from nobody ‘cause they already have all the help they can get and take care of their babies real good.

  Come-on now Carissa! Don’t tell me that ‘cause I know it’s really hard on them, okay? Did you get to take a good look at their miserable faces? How does a girl our age or younger take care of two babies? Tell me!? Especially when the daddy is nowhere to be found! Daddy is probably baby daddy himself and no man can raise a family at fourteen. They get them pregnant and disappear to go be with their own mama at home. Then turn around and get them another fucking stupid bitch and don’t even understand what they are doing. That’s what it is, okay? These so called baby mamas are kids themselves but take a closer look at any of them when next you see one and you’ll notice she is already worn out like some kinda grand ma, Shit!

  Yeah! I’m sure the one sitting in front of me with her two kids is probably sixteen or even younger but she is doing well though! She had no problems holding both of her kids. She is ok! Carissa continued.

  Oh no! You don’t know what you are talking about Carissa! She had problem holding both of her kids ‘cause I noticed too, okay? Looking like a piece of shit at her age, that speaks volumes if you don’t know. She is suffering from self-neglect for sure. Besides, she is missing out on what her peers are getting right now and that’s not funny at all ‘cause there will be no second chance! And let me tell you some more, a baby mama will always be a baby all her life ‘cause she never gave herself chance to grow up. At sixty, she’s wanna be with twenty years old guy ‘cause she will be forever seeking to catch up with time. You know why? Is because she never gave herself chance to be loved! She only lives in the illusion of it and then wears herself out in mis
ery and then winds up spending all the little money she gets from welfare on younger guys trying to buy what she refused to get naturally. But hey lady! You can’t buy love! Oh no! So give it up! Is gone and never gonna come back! Let it go! Let’s be honest here, very few guys our age will fall in love with a woman old enough to be their Mama. It’s crazy! When he is your son’s or daughter’s age, no bound is ever gonna happen, okay? Sounds to me like make believe, get what I’m saying? You work too hard and get faked love in return. It’s hardly true ‘cause someone must be doing some behind someone’s back. These babes and the guys need to think again.

  Look! Look in front of you, Carissa said. Here comes another one pushing her baby pram.

  Nay! She’s way too young. She couldn’t be more than thirteen or fourteen. No! This is very wrong. Isabel added.

  Stop that Isabel! Is not that bad! Carissa continued in her quest to justify her reasoning. Look! Is like she has her grand ma helping out ‘cause that woman walking with her is too old to be her mama. Yeah Isabel! This reminds me of something else. Where the hell are the mamas? I always see grandmas doing stuff for them little grand girls these days. Where are the mamas?

  They take care of business, okay? And that is because there are not so many guys to run the homes any more so they do it by themselves, Isabel explained further. Some mamas are still in school and others out there having fun. I mean, how old do you think mom to a fourteen years old baby mama will be?

  I don’t know, responded Carissa.

  Ok! Probably twenty six or twenty eight, cause baby mamas begot baby mamas. And how do you become a grand ma at twenty six. It is hard men! They don’t think. This is what is called dis- function and Isabel can’t do herself like that. They make babies and suddenly don’t want them and what happens next. They either hands up to willing grand ma or dump the babies, but why? If you don’t like it, don’t do it, period! I don’t understand. Plan A or B is over the counter! It’s easy! I’m not saying I’m of any good though but get me to be a baby mama? Hell no! I guess I’m far too smart for that shit!